‘Judge not lest ye be judged’ ~Matthew 7:2
I’m trying. I’m trying hard to let go. Sometimes I can’t, like last night.
Last night at a survivor meeting, I blew my top. It wasn’t the first time its happened. I find that I’m surrounded by those that don’t want to move forward in life. They seem content to stay where they are and continue with self pity. Part of what got me worked up was a survivor went on tv begging for money to send her kid on a school trip across the country. This irked me bad. Then she sent me a personal message asking for money and wanting me to get my friends and family to give her money.
I guess I’m from a different generation. Never, ever have I done such a thing nor would I. I wasn’t insulted that she asked me, I was mad that she used and abused the shooting to drum up sympathy for her personal financial gain. Lately, it seems a lot of that has been going on.
I arrived to the meeting irritated to begin with. Then, no one except me in the group did the ‘homework’ for the week. Not only was it not done, the lies around why they didn’t do it pushed me over the edge. The people that run and support these groups are volunteers and nonprofit organizations that are trying to help us anyway they can. These people go out of their way for us and are genuinely concerned about our well being and progression and those attending can’t even be bothered.
As much as I like the people that run these meetings, I don’t want to listen to the bs from the other survivors. I’m drained when I leave. I realize that when I do blow up I’m probably saying aloud what others are thinking; I’ve received many personal messages to that effect. I’m thinking a break is in order; I have better things to do with that time to improve my life.