Today, I am fortunate enough to walk in ceremony for obtaining my master’s degree. Why am I walking? Besides the fact that the whole thing is boring  and most people are uncomfortable in their dress clothes, it’s a right of passage. It’s a right of passage that I get to choose whether I go or not. Do I care about my name being called over the intercom, no. I do want a copy of the program where my name is listed.

While I should be ecstatic that this day is here, I am also a bit apprehensive. For one thing, I’m really not done for 5 more weeks; it’s simply how my program is set up. No big deal but it’s hard to be excited about walking when I still have papers to write and exams to complete.

The apprehension comes from not knowing what the next step is. Admission into the program I wanted was denied. Now, the search continues for a program that I find inspiring and can afford. There are prospects, I simply am not in a place to make that decision right now.

One of my favorite lines to describe myself was ‘a jack of all trades, a master of none’. Recently, I’ve come to realize how wrong that statement is. I may not be a master in the sense society deems necessary but I am a master of change. I am also a master of face checking it and trying to prevent it (at my own peril).

That ends now. Maybe if I stopped trying to force my way I wouldn’t be so tired. I am not saying sit around an do nothing, I will continue to research and submit applications. By all means , you still have to do something to pursue your dreams, I’m simply saying not to put so much emotion into and go with what is provided. If I’m meant to obtain my doctorate, then the appropriate program will appear while I’m researching and I’ll be accepted when I apply, that’s all. No more planning a straight line, that has only caused problems in my life.

It’s time to get on with my life how it is meant to be, not how I think it should be.

Have an awesome Saturday!




We all go through some kind of personal development; some expand and some contract. Some become spiritual and some become arrogant. Each life is a personal journey; one’s own path so to speak.

My own personal journey has been an uphill battle. A fight that I didn’t know I was fighting, a fight that I didn’t know how to win, a fight I didn’t know I was fighting.

My journey has been a long one, at least to me. During my research and expansion, I was found by Ester and Jerry Hicks and the Teachings of Abraham.

Listening to Abraham emits a calming force with in me. For those that have not heard of Abraham, Abraham is not a who but a collection of what. After listening to many of their recorded shows, a single question came to mind.

Why would a collection of beings from source channel themselves through a single person on our world and promote contrast?

Abraham often speaks of expansion and how we create reality through thought. Then it occurred to me that had read a story about how our expanding universe is slowing down.

Bare with me…

If we chose to come here to experience contrast, what happens when contrast is reduced?

Contrast is reduced by conformity, religion, society, and forcing someone else to follow what one believes to be true.

Wars force conformity, death to those that do not.

World population grows exponentially.

Contrast is shun.

Conformity is expected.

If contrast makes the universe expand and the lack of contrast causes the universe to retract, then…

If I was a collections of beings that from source and saw this occurring…

I too would find a way to channel through a being in that world to promote what was needed to keep the expansion going.

My former philosophy professor would have a field day tearing this apart if he saw it.

Have an awesome day!




Lately, the thoughts of today’s youth and their actions with their cell phones have come to the forefront of issues I have to handle everyday. This came to light after a young woman walked out into a six lane road without pushing the crosswalk light; she was too busy looking at her phone.

The thought that occurred to me was “what happened in on generation to create this situation?” One thought lead to another and the process took me to the past.

I don’t remember the exact year, I was a tween at the time, my mother brought home the first computer that would grace my world. School required me to take a DOS class, my mother pushed me to learn computers; “it’s the way of the future” they would say. As a teen, I really didn’t care.

Computer class was boring, programming irritating; friends were fun so I headed in that direction.

In my home, we went from  Commodore 64/128 computer system to an Atari game system. Games, now that caught my attention. I was more interested in playing than programming; playing games in the evening with my dad became an event for us.

When I met my husband to be, he was a computer gamer. He showed my how valuable a computer was as a tool. Under his tutelage, I learned how to use DOS.

Then came the blessings of all blessings, GUI (graphical user interface) and it changed the world. Many of us struggled to use a computer until the GUI came to be. Computers are a valuable tool; then our worst fears came to light.

Society became dependent on the tool and the tool became the world.

It appears that many of those that have known computers all of their life know even less about computers then we did when they were first released. The thought was that being born with this tool would enhance ones world when it actually created a generation of zombies. They can only use a GUI, stuck in a world that is virtual and not knowing what reality is.

There’s therapy for that.

I love gaming, I love computers and all of the wonderful things they have opened us up to. Perhaps it is because of my beginnings with binary systems that I see computers for the valuable tool that it is. At the same time, it is important to be able to function without a computer despite our dependency on them.

Food for thought.

Have a great day!






Many years have been spent feelings as though there was more. Many tears lost wondering what was done and what should have been done to make things right.

But, what really is right?

Right is different for each person. One’s path is one’s own journey.

I was recently irritated by someone that has had everything handed to them, including a career (two careers actually) that I not only wanted, I actively pursued for many years and now hold student debt for. I suppose you can even say there was a jealous moment; not because she was receiving these gifts that I worked so hard for but that she was so ungrateful. It was difficult to send all my love her way.

While this may seem normal and we all have had those moments, that doesn’t mean we should. That feeling simply says that we are not placing our energy where we should.

The path I wanted and worked for wasn’t my path. What I thought I should do wasn’t the reason I came here for. While strengths lay in those fields, my main talent came through while pursuing the others; I simply had to stop fighting for what I thought was right and go with what was right. Stubbornness had to take a backseat.

Previously, I have stated many times how I always felt as though I was at a crossroads; not any more. The main path is laid out, now is the time to walk it.

Have an incredible Wednesday!




With multiple thoughts running through my head and my life at any given time, I find it difficult to post about one topic because I want to post about all of them. At the same time, I can’t seem to decide which one to post about so none of them are written about. this blog was created to touch on different aspects of my life in the hopes of not only aiding myself in finding solutions but also so that someone else may come to the understanding that they are not alone in the trials and tribulations that they face.

There’s been a minor bump in the road to graduation this semester. My capstone project was cancelled four weeks before the actual event. Now, I’m working with my professor to find some way to salvage all of the work I’ve done on this. The other option is a new project in which I have submitted a few ideas to him for feedback.

One day at a time, one thing at a time.

That doesn’t mean don’t plan for the future and always be spontaneous.

Be present.

Pay attention to the task at hand.

Stay in alignment

Don’t let others drama overtake you and do what’s best for you and keeping you in your happy place. Don’t be critical of others and their actions, meaning don’t but emotion into it.

Have a great Tuesday!

Power Outage


I decided to go to the movies last night. All nestled in my chair, snacking on grapes while watching previews when suddenly…no, there wasn’t a noise on the roof. The power went out.

Much to my disappointment, everyone was asked to leave the theater because the back up generators wouldn’t turn on. Oh well, maybe another time.

I stood in line to receive my readmission voucher and I couldn’t believe the crap being said by the patrons in the line.

I admit, it really blows not seeing the movie we paid for but they are giving us tickets with no expiration date. Plus, it was a discount movie night and the readmission tickets are good for any movie at any time. I made out on that deal!

Then people were screaming about not being reimbursed for the junk food they ate. What is wrong with these people? Is the theater suppose to have a magic ball to tell them when there is going to be a multi-car accident out front that knocks out the power?

People, it’s a movie. Yes, it’s a hassle to have a power outage. But seriously, it’s not the end of the world.

Lighten up and laugh at yourself.

Have an awesome Wednesday night!



This word is used frequently although it appears to be dwindling every day.

The occasion that sparked this thought process was a discussion I had last week with a coworker. He was talking about his brother and his cooking ability and then the discussion turned to grandparents and family recipes. He stated how unhappy he was with his siblings (mostly because they’re the cooks in the family) because they didn’t learn the old world recipes from his grandmother before she passed. Family recipes lost forever.

After thinking about what he said I began to think about what it took for me to retrieve such recipes from both sides of my son’s families. I would literally stand there with a notepad and pen and jot down ingredients and measurements as the dish was being made. Despite all of the grief I received for ‘invading their kitchen’; I’m glad I did.

My intention was to purchase a blank cookbook and write down the recipes for my son as a Christmas present but then I realized that there may be other recipes he wanted . On Christmas Eve, I asked him if he would be interested in receiving such a book; I figured I would do it anyway and hold on to it for future generations should there be grandchildren in my future. To my surprise, he became excited about it and his girlfriend brightened up at the prospect as well.

I had already written down a list of recipes to put in the book; as of that night, several more were requested. I had only thought about the recipes I confiscated from parents; at no time did I think about my recipes.

The blank cookbook is on the way and will be filled with the deliciousness of the families to be passed on. I have seriously considered creating a book more suited to our needs and titling it ‘Heirloom Recipes’.

Think about the recipes in your family; you may be surprised at those that would love to have them!



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I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

I’ve had a serious issue that continues to build within myself. Lack of motivation has been a serious nuisance. I keep blaming my girls for their relentless need to snuggle me, lay on my research or on my lap, the constant need to be scratched and the center of attention. Even though all of this is very true, it’s not the whole story.

This was my first full weekend off; it will probably be my last until January/February. Up to this point, all of my class assignments were completed with the exception of two research papers and the emergency exercise I am writing.

I can’t tell whether it is my lack of inspiration and intrigue in the subject matter or if I am simply burned out from school work that prevents me from accomplishing these tasks. The exercise isn’t as difficult to continue to work on because I have timelines to meet and coordination with other students that are pushing that assignment along. The two papers however, are a different story.

My research has been sitting here; the outlines are sitting here. Yesterday I began filling in the outline and I found every possible excuse to walk away from it; after all it WAS Halloween.

If I don’t accomplish these two papers, My grade in those two classes will be a ‘B’; to me that is unacceptable when it is due to laziness.

The thought then turns to having one semester left until graduation and can I really keep this up for two years after that to complete my Ph.D.? Will I be able to pick up the momentum again if I take time off after graduation?

It has been suggested that I simplify my life by resigning from one of my jobs; that I am simply too tired to stay motivated. While I am inclined to believe that thought process, I find it difficult to change the complexity that has become my way of life.

My gut tells me to walk away and go hiking, my heart says turn to another subject to study, and at the same time, my head says be the responsible person you are and write the damn papers already!

Have an awesome Sunday!



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I am a BIG fan of going to the movies. There is just something about watching a movie in the theater that I find enhances the experience.

While trying to decide what to see this week, the reviews that stood out the most to me were the ones for Pixels with Adam Sadler. Every one that I found was clearly stated how horrible the movie was and that it was Sadler’s worst one yet. While I’m not his biggest fan, I do like some of his movies I seen; of course my favorite by him being Eight Crazy Nights (does that even count…after all it is a holiday cartoon).

I chose to see Pixels; Why?

It was a movie about 2-D games in a 3-D world. The degrading reviews pushed me to go for the same reason I think Oscar is of Stallone’s best movies. I go for a good show, not for technical excellence.

Back to the subject: Pixels. I laughed for close to 90% of this movie. I am a gamer; I was a gamer in the 80’s and completely ‘get’ the jokes and slams that were in the movie. While part of it could be the recollection of the past good times; my son also laughed for the majority of the movie so it was not just me. The movie provided me with a genuine good time and that’s what the movies are about, personal enjoyment.

Moral of the post; don’t believe everything you read.

Have an awesome Thursday night!



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We wake up each day to start over. A new day, a new way. Changes continue at an ever increasing rate with no hope of understanding them before the next. Creative flow is disrupted, the words simply can’t grow.

Shifting alone is rough. The tendrils of drama hold on even tighter as you pull away. Letting go is the worst, the heart doesn’t understand while the mind is running frantically to catch up to the soul.

Thoughts deviate, perspective changes, diet shifts, wants evolve, desire defines, and cravings run away. Dissension occurs from the outside. Actions of others seem to be as though you are watching a film. Emotions are confused.

You ask yourself “shouldn’t I be upset by that?” or “Why am I not crying?”. All of which simply adds to the confusion.

Time slows and peace is necessary.

Crazy I am not. Evolving I am.