Today is a solemn day for me. Memorial Day. Today is the day that not only do all of the people I’ve lost over the years come to mind, but how they were lost.

After losing friends, brothers, and sisters ‘in service to our country’, I stopped making friends. The funeral processions, the presenting of the flag, the tears and heartache of the friends and family as that person is laid to rest.

As a soldier, you are told to be strong. You are told not to cry its a sign of weakness.  Do your duty and move on.

Well, those tears catch up at some point. That pain surfaces at some point.

Today, my country remembers those that gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Today, I remember them; as well as the pain, the blood spilt, the chaos, the bond.

It also reminds me of why I have to open myself up and my heart again. I know those that I’ve lost would tell me I’m doing a disservice by staying closed off. That I need to be myself. That there is nothing I can’t survive. That someone needs to remember. Someone needs to care. Someone needs to love. The more the better.