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I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

I’ve had a serious issue that continues to build within myself. Lack of motivation has been a serious nuisance. I keep blaming my girls for their relentless need to snuggle me, lay on my research or on my lap, the constant need to be scratched and the center of attention. Even though all of this is very true, it’s not the whole story.

This was my first full weekend off; it will probably be my last until January/February. Up to this point, all of my class assignments were completed with the exception of two research papers and the emergency exercise I am writing.

I can’t tell whether it is my lack of inspiration and intrigue in the subject matter or if I am simply burned out from school work that prevents me from accomplishing these tasks. The exercise isn’t as difficult to continue to work on because I have timelines to meet and coordination with other students that are pushing that assignment along. The two papers however, are a different story.

My research has been sitting here; the outlines are sitting here. Yesterday I began filling in the outline and I found every possible excuse to walk away from it; after all it WAS Halloween.

If I don’t accomplish these two papers, My grade in those two classes will be a ‘B’; to me that is unacceptable when it is due to laziness.

The thought then turns to having one semester left until graduation and can I really keep this up for two years after that to complete my Ph.D.? Will I be able to pick up the momentum again if I take time off after graduation?

It has been suggested that I simplify my life by resigning from one of my jobs; that I am simply too tired to stay motivated. While I am inclined to believe that thought process, I find it difficult to change the complexity that has become my way of life.

My gut tells me to walk away and go hiking, my heart says turn to another subject to study, and at the same time, my head says be the responsible person you are and write the damn papers already!

Have an awesome Sunday!